someone needed

im feelingg a lil restless now . a lil worried . hard pain(susah hati-.-)lol. 

without knowingg why .

isit adeeq ? or isit ahziq ? ahziq's fine . yes i believed . my angels wont mistaken me .

 i guess for not revealingg the truth out .

ohh mann )): omg . yaa allah! kuaat kan laaa semangaat kuu ini!

  i dunnoe what am i thinkingg . im touch but more to sad to see ahziq cried yesterday .

"she taught me something that no one has ever done,even though theres some stubborn through it,but she patiently teach me. i realised that its not good to take advantaged of someone which they love you and you gave shits in return): how dissapointment rite?i bet thats what she feels afterall. "

This is what ahziq wrote . I hope ahziq got my message right .

sayangg , please remember 1 thing that i cann never be mad at youu eventhough i said i did .

cuz when i did , i realised that i actually cant be mad . that feeling of maddness in me for youu changed . theres pains , but i cant hate youu.

i just lovee youu too much kayy .

please mind me . im not actually teachingg youu . but i just what youu to realise what youu did was not liked by many . why i did  this is because in case any lady

were to come ? (: soo youu wont repeat the same old mistake(:

okaaaay sry! pleaase dun be mad . iloveyouu! ((:

im hurt to see that .

 omg , ahziq pleaase , i loveeyouu sooosoo much okaayy .

 i cant stand to leave youu alone too . im sry for doingg that .

 im not sad or disappointed for what you did to me okay . im not(":

cuz i know and i believe theres a reason behind it kann ?(":

 and , no one wants be treat anyone like shits, especially to their love ones . right? (:

i hope youu really take all these that happened as a learningg journey for youu . for us .

youu know i will never gonna leave youu nor to stopp lovingg youu .

the sincereness in youu cann be seen in ur eyes .

those sincere eyes in youu showed me , how sincere youu were for lovingg me and how bad youu dun wanna leave me . i know kaay . thanks for provingg me right again .

youu dun have to show me more , i only need ikhlasaan dari youu .

 but im sry to say that i cant have things to happen between us yet .

i have to sort things out with adeq dulu japp . denn we cann be as whaat u always wanted us to be . we got a loong way to go okaay sayangg .

please be patiene together with me . i need youu by my side still hunny . i just hope , i know youu could understand me , right ? (:

babylove ahziq , i love youu soosoomuch that nothingg cann really make my words empty .

i just hope youu wont give me and same-same sabaar kay dengan I . we will make it this time . but that time just havent give us the permission to do so .

ujian baby , ujian .

I taak pernah dann I taak boleyh pon marahkan youu kay sayangg . perasaan sayangg tuu daa conquer it all . whatever has done , lets have that as our love learningg journey(:

iloveyouu(:

;smileeeyLady

heeeeeeeeeeeeyyaw , im otp now wid babylove^^

heees , big girls dun cry^^

eeerrrrr .. im glad adeq had someone to love better . aaaaaaaaaaaaaand , babyboo .

I

LOVE

YOUU
♥♥♥

i dun wanna lose youu

mann blooggyy ;(((

i guess this is it . i woke up wid an angel beside me but angel didnt leave me any message for my daay . ohh mann , is this the moment of truth already ? has it begin already ? mann , be stroongg please qee ! he'll be strongg , if ure strongg . omg , seriously ;"((

its alright , we'll be back . i gotta let him be himself first . its alright . i'll praay for u , for us babyboy . im strtingg to solaat now((": i hope youu do too . i'll be lookingg forward for his big daay . ohh mann , i cant fight back these tears in my eyes . i seriously do need afiqah now . afiqaaaaaaaaaaah!! :"(((

im suuuuper afraid youu would do what youre afraid of me doingg it . youu told me not to leave youu , im not baby , im not . but now im the one who's freakingly afraid youu would be the one who's gonna leave me here all alone cuz since ive asked for a time break . omg , baby pleaase :"((

i just hope you'll keep ur promises strongg.

dun forget to consult a doctor tmr ;")

the moment where i gotta be suuper strongg . Baby , im ..

Sorry for trying.

Sorry for coming into your life.

Sorry for wanting to be with you.

Sorry for falling in love with you.

Sorry for saying I love you and meaning it.

Sorry for crying over you.

Sorry for wanting to be yours all over again.

Sorry for everything.

Iloveyouusoosooomuch till i just dunnoe how to express it all out to youu hunny:"(((

heyy blogger , he got his fwens . his fwens said that he's too good and faithful to me . lol(":

blogger , how i wish u could talk . god fated both of us not to be together . cuz theres someone better . im happy to hear that . and im also happy to know that his fwens are always there for him . accordingg to them , no matter how much ahziq cry , i wont come back . heyy blogger ! cuz im not worth his time , his love ! ((":

his fwens already has the thoughts where i cant take care of him . i knew that . its alright . i guess , god will jst show us . im not gonna leave ahziq , but im just gonna let him make his own decision . im sry ahziq , this time is real . im reaaally sry , but i couldnt take this anymore . they dunnoe why i leave for a moment . daa laaa , im just not for him , he needs someone who cann perfectly take good care of him((":

u just wont and cant feel how i felt . im just not for u . i cant give what u wanted .

im always bringingg youu down . im sry baby , please stop calling me anymore now .

dun even bother to text . cuz i really need my time for my own self now .
guess tonight will be our last night . im sry hunny , i cant take this anymore :"((

but not to worry still , i'll be back . we'll be back .

just takecare , remember ur promises .

and lastly , iloveyouusoosoomuch(":

I AM SORRY BABY , PLEASE FORGIVE ME :"((

i always wanted to do this with my babylove . ahziq .

but , im sry sayangg .

i guess i got to delaay this again .

i wanted to do this and give youu on ur ery special day with a bruno mars song , Rest of my life .

go check out that songg , cuz that is sincerely from me to youu .

love much , smileeyLady♥

bulan gelaap cuz youu didnt smile and be happy(':

time checked : 0529am

i wouldnt wanna make it obvious . i got a place where i cann really let everythingg out . which only here , my bloggy . not everyone will know . cuz ive just updatingg back . here goes my life story for todaay .

topic for todaay , CONFUSED .

im just confused . thats all . thats my feelinggs now .

 idk if im saad , wanna cry , wanna laugh be happy cuz i still got the hold on to him with just a lil finger instead of 2whole hands or even be maaad . Confused , thats it .

i didnt wanna forget abt u , deep down in my heart , i swear my intentions werent forgettingg abt u .

instead , this distance that ive asked is for us to see , realised and learn from whatever shits that happened in us .

when youu called , i know . ive realised that . but i just didnt wanna pick up .

cuz i want us to make use for this distance . i want youu to know and realise how hurtful it is to be all alone .

learningg how to appreciate . nvr leave yourself alone . hurtful isnt it ?

lets have our time . cuz i still see that u wanna be alone when u got ur fwens there .

its alright to be alone . but dun be alone often kaay . feel for those people who is worried about youu .

when ure not in the mood , u kept on thinkingg and stress urself up , ur fwens cant be happy seeingg u like that . so do i sayangg . we love youu . soo much infact dear .

i know every night it will hurt youu . so do i baby . it hurts me soo much . more denn u do . cuz its me who's lettingg youu to be alone , realisingg there . but i got no choice syangg . youu know i nvr wanna let u be alone . im alwaays forgivingg u and havingg u back after when u gave me all ur shits remember ? i nvr complain . or even scold youu or give u attitudes . cuz i know my baby is just stress there and need someone no matter how bad u say u wanna be alone .

yes , every night i swear i mmg nak text u . in the morningg too .

wakingg up without ur text is hurtful sayangg . but we got no choice now . i guess this is the only way for us to realise and learn .

 im still sleepingg in the same "environment" .

sleepingg with teddy who keeps me safe , a picture right beside me . thats fixed . we will be back kay , i promise . trust me kaay . but just not now . not till u show me somethingg , u get me back . cuz as u know , now its hard for me to trust empty words . youu just gotta show me somethingg , and get me to believe in u , like how u did last time .

for now i just want to youu keep ur first 6promises to me . thats the first step .

1st baby , be happy always .

2nd , be yourself .

3rd , have your proper meal .

4th , stay away from gudangg and araaak .

5th , jage diri baek2 .

 6th , let any lady to come in ur life if they were to exist in your life .

 cuz hunny , i wont take a while . but of course sayangg , i wouldnt want youu to go for other lady . i swear sayangg . i swear :(( im just sayingg that .

i wont leave youu , i swear . im holdingg on to youu with my only 1 lil finger . please dun let that finger loose . i lovee youu soooo soo much . i swear :((

promise me baby , not give up on me . keep holdingg on to me no matter how hard it is . please sayangg . i cant live without youu too . and im sincere about this . promise me that sayangg :"(

idunwannaloseyouu.com :'(

im sad . heyy blogger , im saaad :((
im back postingg again , after for soo longg . i guess my bloggy is the only place where i cann share everythingg out . but how greaat would it be if youu could taalk and help me out . im suuuper hurt plus disappointed . im freakingg saad , i swear . i couldnt breathe well . my heart hurts . im like havingg heart attack . omg . after what had happened recently , i barely could discribe my own feelings . omg , hold on! he called me! ahziq :"(( its hurt to hear his voice when i cant even have him . eventhough i choose to have my own way and time first for these moment , i still dun wanna lose him . but this is life where i gotta face . i need to be strongg and let him be strongg too . he may say he'll waait . but some parts of me is fear that he'll be wastingg his time waitingg . another half of me is sayingg he's not gonna wait that longg . mainly part of me says I DUN WANNA LOSE HIM! :"((
but i dun wanna lose my fwen too . i know adeq's gonna slowly change . so do haziq . i cant stand when haziq begg and keep begging upon me . thats saad . i dun want him to be kneelingg now on me , and beggingg me . thats touchingg but im sry , ure gonna make me cry . baby , i swear i cant live without youu too . youu know how afraid am i . youu know it all . as im typingg this , tears is rollingg down hunny . i just dunnoe how to show youu that i love youu and how grateful am i to have u in my arms . despite what had happened , despite whatever shits youu been givingg me . but a promise will always still be a promise .  i need a shoulder to cry on . i need sincere ears to hear me out about this . i need sincere advices . i dun have it all now .

im sincere am sorry haziq ,

 youu know i love youu , youu know i wont leave youu . youu know all my promises to youu . right ?

but im just too hurt . i need my own time .

 please give me space . learn how to live without me sayangg , cuz 1day i am gonna be gone .

i want youu to be happy . i dun want youu to have bad days anymore .

thats why im leavingg for now . i dun care what u did to me , its all past afterall . my history is repeatingg . u gotta understand that .

remember what i told u ? i wanna have u at the first place cuz i know and i believe that ure my man . ur the mann that my parent and me are lookingg for . youu were loyaal . youu were sincere and patience . but now , youu prove me wrongg ?

 i know thats not youu . u gotta get me back to our road back . please hunny , show me somethingg again for me to be back to youu . cuz its really suupe hard now . especially when it repeats .

 remember what i said ? i love youu like how a mummy loves a daddy .

 how afraid were ur dad to lose ur mum , is that afraid i am to lose youu . now that things happened the same waayy , idk .. please remember your 6 promises and i'll be back . but i wont still take a while .
cuz baby , i gotta see youu once again and made a huge decision for my future too .
i hope youu understand that crucial part of mine.
iloveyouusooosooomuchhubby.

; brokenhearted smileeyLady(':

im back



Ohh Maaann , My EyeBags are getting worse .
i cant even open my freakingg cute eyes :P



wow , time checked : 0556am



and im not yet asleep when im actually goingg out ltr . omg .

hmm , waited for this araab pig since i cant sleep . but didnt call me back .paitaw kingg .

haaaishh , i got ntg to do now .

its beeen freakingg longg eversince i post anythingg . lol .

before updatingg , i read my past post . LMFAO !!

 i realised how emo and how much i got carried away with "BOY"'s craaaps .

OMG . but now that i realised , whats boys and whats men . 051111 , ouuw , whar a cool date todaaay . i got loooot to post . but , omg . i need my rest :( okay2 , i'll spend a lil bit more time . juuust a lil jyeaa ^^

errrrm , lots of things happened in my life recently :( it was prefectly fine , but suddenly , WTH seyhh  :(

sometimes , i dunnoe what does guys wants . why cant they just tell the fckingg truth out ?

im not ur mum who's gonna scold the hell out of u . IDIOT ~

i realised that now theres no point of cryinggg .

peeeergi mampos ~ mak akuu lagy pentingg .

prasaan makbapak akuu lagy pentingg .

skgg baruu akuu sedaaar perasaan seorangg IBU! baruu ku sedari , seorangg ibu tetap sayaangg kepade anak2 nyerh!! ibu tidaak pernah jemu menjagaa anaknyaa . ibuu angkat sume taek anak sudaah bikin . ibu marahh keranaa ibu sayangg .

:'(( im tired , really exhausted . of tears . lol :') imaa strongg lady yaaw . smileeyLady , walaupon die attitude nann akuu kadangg2 . ive been wantingg to have my own book diary . but didnt get the chance yet to buy one . OMG , im tired . i dun wanna lose the ppl i love .





Naufal Danny Qaliish made me stayed up and wait for nothingg !! OMG !

soo lonely night :(

Time checked : 0619am , time orgg daa nak gy kerje , gy skolaa-.-" akuu baruu nak tdo .